Lessons from England

It would be an understatement to say that my time in England has been less than perfect.
But with 3 days left until I return to Michigan, I thought that I should try to find the good in this experience and try to do some reflection. So here are some thoughts, ideas and lessons from my time in England:

Realism vs Romanticizing:  When we are getting closer to achieving a goal, going somewhere new, meeting someone new--we (or at least I did) tend to romanticize it. I did this with my move to England. I expected to get here, make a bunch of new friends, adjust quickly and love it! Unfortunately, quite the opposite happened. This lesson is tough because apparently there is a very thin line between optimism and romanticizing something new. Before I had even gotten here, I was already inquiring about staying 2 years instead of 1. I won't lie, I don't have the solution but I know what it isn't, it ISN'T thinking that meeting the goal or whatever new move is the solution to all your problems. I probably thought that moving to England would solve all my problems.....I have no idea why I thought this way. But moving here exacerbated my inner issues--something I never expected.
The Lesson: Be more realistic about making new moves. You can't really escape all your problems so suddenly. Especially internal ones.

Being Alone: Growing up an only child, it was difficult to find friends--much less good friends. And that is something that I've always carried with me. But somehow, living in England fueled me to have better standards for who I call a friend. I no longer accepted friends who constantly bailed, or who said mean cruel things to me. And I lived. I was alone for most of the time but I LIVED! For the first time in a while, I controlled my own time, learned how to get things done quickly and I was able to focus in on assignments when I needed to! Of course every now and then I wanted company but I chose to be alone over low quality people. This included guys in the area who wanted to play games--they were shut down instantly. I refused to let anyone toxic near me any longer. It didn't kill me and I got to spend more time getting to know myself. Years ago I hated being single and would have gladly stayed with a toxic man over being lonely on a Saturday night, so in many ways, this is the most surprising lesson for me.
The Lesson: Being alone won't kill you.

Cooking: Cooking can cost effective and healthier, if you're into that sort of thing.  Since I hated the food in England, I found myself cooking more often. Okay okay this was something I had began picking up before I left home but in England it was different. I didn't have access to the same things that I did back home so I began trying new things. For example, English "pancakes" are more like crepes. But I began experimenting with the "pancake mix" and a few other ingredients. Next thing I knew, I was enjoying chocolate banana protein pancakes with eggs for breakfast! I also discovered a new way to make oatmeal ("porridge"), a love for sweet potatoes, how to keep my chicken juicy and other tasty dishes. But this is more than just cooking. I was adapting to the differences in food here. I probably had no choice though, it would have been unrealistic (and unhealthy) to eat nothing but Five Guys and Mcdonald's the whole time. Adapting became easier when I embraced it--when I told myself that I had to experiment and do what it took to adjust. In this process, I created some awesome recipes and even found soaps that I will take back home with me.
The Lesson: Learn to adapt. Embrace it and it will come easier.

You Like What You Like, You Don't Like What You Don't Like: If nothing else, most situations--good or bad-- help us find a piece of ourselves, we just have to take time to look. Though I didn't find very many things that I liked in England, I was able to find a piece of myself in things that I didn't like. I was able to pinpoint the behaviors in people that were toxic for me, the behavior that I didn't want in a friend, a better idea of what I wanted for my future, where I wanted to live, etc. These may come off as negative things but with someone as indecisive as myself, figuring out what is acceptable to you and what isn't could be the difference in making a huge decision.
The Lesson: Each experience shows you something new about you--even if it shows you what is tolerable and what isn't.

Same Thoughts, Different Environment: Earlier, remember how I mentioned that I foolishly thought coming to England would solve my problems? Again, quite the opposite. Being in England forced me to continue facing old things that were unresolved. Somehow being in a different environment improved my overall judgement and critical thinking when it came to myself and the people in my life. Perhaps it could be attributed to spending more time alone or the lack of clutter at home but my ideas were much more clear, I didn't doubt myself either. For example there was a guy from home that I had a complicated situationship with. I was able to clearly see his intentions without cloudy judgement. I was also able to identify negative feelings I had about family members and why.
The Lesson: Sometimes we need a change in environment--whether we like it or not.

Home: I was trying so hard to leave home behind and here I am, not even a year later running back. I had so many bad memories there and I just wanted to escape. But that wasn't the solution. It is still home. I remember being so home sick that it made me physically sick sometimes. One time, I burst into tears after seeing a snapchat video of one of my friends back home driving through Detroit. I never knew how much I loved my city, my state, my country.
The Lesson: Home is where the heart is--no matter how much you hate it. There is nowhere quite like it.