Our Own Toxic Traits

After about 2 years of the single life, once again I have failed on my mission of finding true love. And it was my own toxic behavior that did it.
Of course there were other flaws in the relationship but what I did was well....disgusting, manipulative and something that my abuser had done to me.
And I really didn't know that was in me--until it reared its monstrous head.
How is it that a victim of mental (sometimes physical) abuse could adopt habits from their abuser? I don't have the answer for this in particular but it is time for everyone--whether a victim of abuse or not-- to look inward. What toxic traits do you have? Manipulation seems to be the most common one, we can't help but to want things to go our way but we just cannot have our way every single time. Not only do toxic traits such as this one hurt our relationships but they hurt the people we love.
Truth be told I had fallen for this guy, rather quickly but it happened. And I had ruined it by trying to control the situation--control him.
Give up the control. If someone wants to do something, they do it. But by trying to force them, you are pushing them away and in a way creating false love--because they didn't choose to do it, you made them. Now you're still spending more energy on someone who doesn't want to invest in you of their own free will.....so in the end you're still losing.
Aside from manipulation, other toxic traits include: being judgmental, antagonistic, constant criticism, negativity, lack of empathy and unwillingness to apologize/admit wrongdoing.
I will leave you to understand how these other traits can damaging to the people you love. But also take a second to consider whether or not the people in your life also exhibit these behaviors.
Happy Reflecting!