Comfortably Uncomfortable--When Meeting A Goal Sucks.

I made it.
After dreaming about it for years, I was finally meeting not one--but TWO of my major short term goals that would be productive stops along my journey of being the best me. I had gotten accepted into a graduate program and I had moved to England.
But as the days rolled on and I was hitting the 2 week mark of living this dream, reality began to tug at me, destroying whatever high I had from having accomplished my goals.
Everything was wrong and that "everything" rolled up into one thing and presented itself as homesickness. It sat heavy in my stomach like bricks, weighing me down, making it hard to breathe, making it hard to get out of bed, making it hard to live almost.
As the weeks passed, I began to try to digest this brick--in other words, trying to break down why I was feeling the way I felt.
1. Who I am-- A lot things that made me back home were lost. My gym, my job,my routine, my reputation, my independence--all things that I could not bring with me to England.
2.Places I drew my confidence from-- Back home I was just learning to love myself and how to be assertive and confident. My self esteem was finally rebuilding. The process wasn't instant but I was happy to see changes in myself. But mistakenly, my sources of confidence weren't the best things-- the money I made, the car I drove, my apartment, my lifestyle and worst of all, the admiration I had gotten from so many people because of those things. These are all wonderful things but confidence needs to come from somewhere inside us because when those superficial things are gone, so is our confidence. And then we have to start all over--just the way I have to now.
3..Romanticizing Goals--Did I romanticize my goals too much? This is normal. When we make a goal, we visualize the positives about meeting the goal. Not what comes after or the additional work that comes with meeting the goals. So I had to sit and ponder what I imagined life would be like as a grad student in England. I think I did. I had assumed that things would go smoothly, I didn't even consider that my teachers would be anything less than great or that the locals might not be very friendly.
After a few rude awakenings and awkward culture shock situations, I asked "what did I do back home to start showing myself love?" That was what I had forgotten! My happiness! I was so busy with everything that I forgot to continue being nice to myself. Although I have to start this journey over somewhat, this time I know it will be genuine things that I can take with me where ever I go! Meeting a goal can be harder than not meeting it but in order for us to grow, we need to learn to be uncomfortable. I have decided to work on adapting and learning to be comfortably uncomfortable.